- You wake up face down on the pavement.

- You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.

- You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.

- You see a '60 Minutes' news team waiting in your office.

- Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

- You want to put the clothes on you wore home from the party but find there aren't any.

- Your twin brother forgot your birthday.

- You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes from the city.

- Your car horn accidentally goes off and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hells Angels along a deserted highway.

- You wake to discover your waterbed has sprung a leak and then realize you don't have a waterbed.

- Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.

- The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.

- You call your answering service and you're told to mind your own business.

- Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.

- Your tax refund check bounces.

- You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

- Your pet rock snaps at you.

- Your wife says "Good Morning, Bill" and your name is George.